Sacred memories

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“So, how did you come to be so into theater?”

They were just hanging out when they asked her. Simple question it may seem to them but the answer might be tricky.

She paused, thought to give them a ridiculous answer. And then she thought about how to tell the story:

“Long time ago, when I was still sharing a passport with my parents, when my outfit was either a girly floral dress that my mum chose, or a kind of military style that sometimes my father chose (unlucky days), I joined a French theater group, along with my younger brother ( well now he’s taller and people think he’s older). I was 10 and he was 9. We were the youngest of the group, and it was very hard for our colleagues to take us seriously, they were all in middle school. I mean I was a child, and therefore shorter than the rest, no one could ever imagine I would grow up and be taller than some of my friends, while my brother wore harry potter glasses and was even shorter than me. It was like we were tiny humans surrounded by giant older people.

We had our theater class on Tuesdays, and it was the highlight of my week. And I would be very disappointed if the teacher weren’t going to make it.

The stage gave the illusion of a train wagon. I played a countess. The main story was that a lady in the same wagon as the countess proclaimed that her very expensive necklace was stolen during that train ride.

My character was supposed to be rich, but it was then revealed that she’s lost everything. And also, she was the thief who stole the lady’s necklace during a power cut.

For the purposes of the play, I wore a purple pencil skirt and a blazer, I had to have a hair updo, and wore make up for the first time in my life. I liked to pretend to be another person for couple of hours.

That last moment of the play, when you’re done reciting dialogues and you’re back to your normal self is just magical, that’s why I’m ready to get involved in more plays…”

One of her friends interrupted her joking: “Where did your mind go, did the cat get your tongue? You seemed distracted thinking of something, and we only asked about your love for theater.” They laughed. She smiled and failed to hide her embarrassment due to her unmanageable blushing.

Thinking of how this real story is full of nostalgic sweet childish memories, she simply said: “I just enjoy theater”. 

Soundtrack of my week 2

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How to cope with over thinking

WARNING : This post is inspired by true life events. 😀

Have you ever found yourself in a bad mood, or worried, because you over thought something? I think we can all agree on the fact that we have put ourselves in a bad mood because of over thinking, at least once. Are you asking why it happens? …Well, my friend, this happens because you cross to that side of your brain where you feel stuck in your own bubble and that nobody can reach you.

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Since I have been struggling a bit these last couple of weeks with a decision making process, I found myself drowning in over thinking, not the reasonable way where I weigh up pros and cons or discuss issues with my close ones, but rather, the sort of thinking that lock you up in the darkest maze of your head.

In an attempt to uncover the “cure” and find something to help me take my mind off of this self destructive stuff, I went to the deepest wildest jungles of Google and came across some tips.

But first: What is over thinking?

It’s basically when your ‘in theory’ gets in the way of your ‘in practice’. Generally, over thinking can simply be the result of a major decision to be made or a stressful period in life.

Over_Think

Some studies have shown that the majority of over thinkers are women, (Watch out girl, we are most likely to fall into the over thinking pattern).

Usually, over thinkers may show frustration, signs of anxiety and even depression in some extreme cases. They also tend to make a big deal of the simplest things.

Over analyzing everything causes mental exhaustion. That’s where your sudden bad mood comes from.

PS : if you identify with what’s above, then, your over thinking might be overtaking your positive thoughts.

over-thinking

To chase away the negativity, here are some tips that really worked for me:

  1. You’re not going insane. Don’t assume you’re alone in this and that everybody else is sleeping like a baby without second thinking everything around them. Some people may look calm on the outside, but their minds are going mad as well. This is all part of the human nature; it’s just that you have to find the balance between thinking and reacting.
  2. Ask yourself the right type of questions. Over thinking something to the point of sadness is a waste of positive energy.  If you’re going to over think, do it positively at least. Look at the bright side. Think of the solution and be productive and practical instead of focusing on the main problem.
  3. Be more proactive; do stuff!  Turn over thinking into a next action. Get out of the theory and into the practical. Now! Do at least one thing each day every day that will get you closer to where you want to be. Even if it scares you. Especially if it scares you.

There is no “one best way” to deal with your over thinking, but this worked for me. I look forward to read other tips that worked for you.

Aside

To my ‘nonexistent’ big sister

Hi, I’m your young sister, not the youngest though, we have a younger brother and sister, but I’m the only one who knows you. In my head, there are 4 of us, but for everybody else, there are only 3 of us.

You see, they have no idea you exist, they don’t even need your existence if I may say, because they got me, their older sister.

As for me, I really need you to exist, no matter how, in my dreams, in my writings, in my head, I just really need you imaginary big sister.

I don’t know your name, I didn’t think of giving you any name yet, for now you’re just big sister.

So big sister, I imagine you as a dreamer, someone who loves to travel, discover new things. What a shame, you could’ve been the one who gives me a push towards my own dreams; I know you would’ve helped me.

I imagine you giving me lot of advice, encouraging me a lot. let me tell you, people here aren’t that encouraging, they fear a lot, and they’re living an ordinary life, most of them. And I know for sure, that if you were real, you’d be too awesome to be living a dull life.

I know also that your life could’ve been splendid, far from being run of the mill; you would’ve been my idol, the one whose footsteps I would follow.

Sometimes we would fight, but that’s okay, because we always forget what we’re fighting about and laugh at the smallest things.

You would’ve been the one to tell me how to deal with stuff bothering me, and how to act smart in some situations.

You would’ve been the perfect sister to teach me how to be myself, how to pursue my dreams, how to stick with the things that make me happy, you would’ve cared about me, because you, from all the others, you care, and know what to do.

I’m not killing your character just yet, I’ll keep you alive for little while.

See you big sister.

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