Day dreaming

CafeTerrace

My morning coffee, some will tell they couldn’t go their day without coffee, so do I, kind of.

It wasn’t about the coffee itself, it was about the state I put my mind in, I have read a lot about staying positive and stuff, the first thing the books thought me, is how to be in charge of my own happiness.

Somewhere in Europe, I took my coffee in a small cafe  very authentic, I always choose a table on the sidewalk, and for that, I would charge my laptop’s battery to the fullest, so I would be able to sit out and not worry about a thing.

The sound of the morning is so pure, not much noise, I’m sitting writing this while listening to Alexi Murdoch in my headphones, and I couldn’t help it but smile. People walking by, some are smiling back to me, some are listening to their own music, some have had enough of waking up early, some are walking their dogs, some are travelling or passing by and not appreciating the place nor the moment they’re in, some are on their bikes, cars too, and some others are having their breakfast in this same small café.

What a great day to have a new beginning, this moment, this exact moment, sums it all up in one word, happiness. You just don’t give a rat about what could possibly ruin the day; you’ve already found the kick of your day.

It’s sunny and warm, even if it’s winter time in here.

While I’m typing and taking a long look around me, I just feel I’m in a picture, taken with an old camera, the colors are fading away, but the picture is still beautiful, God….what would I give to have this picture framed and hanged in my room, beautiful piece of art. Now I’m listening to the cinematic orchestra- build a home, and it’s just giving the picture in my head a real good soundtrack.

Many of you may never understand this whole pureness I’m talking about, but I believe in it, that’s all I’ve got.

I suddenly woke up from my day dreaming, and didn’t find the picture I described. Sorry, that was the sound of my reality interrupting my imagination… never mind.

Despite the fact that I want this to go on and on, I woke up from my day dreaming, I just wanted for this to last a bit longer.

Can’t wait for the day to see the scene I imagined coming into reality.

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Front of the class

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I’m back after a long time of absence from this sweet kind of safe haven virtual world.

I’ve been away because I’ve been focusing more on my real life. As you may know, I didn’t want to work after my graduation; I had some plans that didn’t really work.

This small failure led me to what I’m doing right now. I’m in my twenties, I don’t have regrets and I enjoy the process of getting where I want.

I decided to pursue a new passion, and focus more on getting a new degree that I want to get. Yes I’m back to school. It’s official, I’m a student at another university, which is cool, and I love discovering new things, socializing with new people with different backgrounds and nationality. I just love all of it. My new studies are about   international studies and diplomacy.

This is been awesome so far.

And I’m the new student of the class, teachers always ask for a presentation, while the students stare at me, the new face of the class, just like I described in my “about” section. In a way, I unintentionally applied the law of attraction, and got what I thought of.

Talking about law of attraction, I secretly wanted to study here when I was little, but forgot about that dream for a while, until the day I got accepted, and officially realized the dream of that naive little girl I was.

Anyways, I started classes a week ago, I feel like I have done the right thing for me. Maybe most of people don’t see what I see, it’s all about perception. I have reached a stage in my life where people don’t influence me anymore, especially people who are always looking to make you feel down.

I hope there are more awesome things to come, and please my awesome friends wish me luck.

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Last conversation

It is usually “Last words” that we hear about, that people memorize, maybe misquote later on. But it gives them closure.

But for someone who has never been there for the final words, a last conversation could be the thing they retain to in seek for closure.

What’s not so pleasant about last conversations is that you don’t know you’re having one; you have no idea that the person in front of you is saying goodbye in his own way.  It’s not until that person passes away that you realize that the conversation you had few days ago, a month ago, was a sign, a farewell maybe.

For this post, I chose to write these unusual sweet last words, or may I say last conversations.

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Last conversation 1 : She and her grandpa “Juanito”:

Her family was having a big meal that evening. She politely refused to eat because she set herself a stupid 13 days diet challenge, and wanted to keep her dignity by not losing her challenge to that meal. She sat at the other table, with her grandpa. He was having his usual coffee, no sugar added, along with a Moroccan msemen and a cupcake.

Her grandpa, who always complained to her parents about her poor eating habits, invited her to share his late afternoon meal. She said she was only having an apple. He made fun of her.

Their conversations would usually include old Clint Eastwood movies, cars and driving or just Spanish words, the grandpa talked occasionally Spanish to his granddaughter to see if she was progressing. But this time, he chose to start an out of the blue conversation.

The grandpa: Is this your last year of college?

Her: Yes, this is my last semester. I’ll have an internship during the second one.

The grandpa: Very good my dear, and then what do you want to do?

(Total silence, the other member of the family were trying to listen in to the conversation)

The girl laughed, and said that she doesn’t know yet. And she added that her 22nd birthday was in 2 weeks and she was expecting a present, maybe an old Mercedes from him.

They laughed.

The grandpa had a sip of his sugarless coffee, took a long pause like he was thinking of what to say and how to say it:

It is very important for you to study hard, to have degrees, to get a job. You’ll be independent, which is a good thing.  But if there’s anyone dear to you, who is willing to ask your hand in marriage, go for it, don’t hesitate, we are destined to love and be loved, and it’s not 7chuma (a word in Moroccan dialect which kind of means: Shameful).

The girl, surprised, with eyes wide open, was listening carefully to those words and then simply nodded with a smile.

This was their last conversation, before he passed away…

Last conversation 2 : She and her grandma:

“You look very beautiful, your new caftan is astonishing” she said, “and I loved your dancing” she added, with a very beautiful smile and expressive eyes.

The girl thanked her grandma and giggled; she couldn’t hide her blushing in front of the guests and went back to dancing with her family.

She never thought this was going to be her last sweet memory of her grandma.

The grandma passed away the following week…

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How to cope with over thinking

WARNING : This post is inspired by true life events. 😀

Have you ever found yourself in a bad mood, or worried, because you over thought something? I think we can all agree on the fact that we have put ourselves in a bad mood because of over thinking, at least once. Are you asking why it happens? …Well, my friend, this happens because you cross to that side of your brain where you feel stuck in your own bubble and that nobody can reach you.

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Since I have been struggling a bit these last couple of weeks with a decision making process, I found myself drowning in over thinking, not the reasonable way where I weigh up pros and cons or discuss issues with my close ones, but rather, the sort of thinking that lock you up in the darkest maze of your head.

In an attempt to uncover the “cure” and find something to help me take my mind off of this self destructive stuff, I went to the deepest wildest jungles of Google and came across some tips.

But first: What is over thinking?

It’s basically when your ‘in theory’ gets in the way of your ‘in practice’. Generally, over thinking can simply be the result of a major decision to be made or a stressful period in life.

Over_Think

Some studies have shown that the majority of over thinkers are women, (Watch out girl, we are most likely to fall into the over thinking pattern).

Usually, over thinkers may show frustration, signs of anxiety and even depression in some extreme cases. They also tend to make a big deal of the simplest things.

Over analyzing everything causes mental exhaustion. That’s where your sudden bad mood comes from.

PS : if you identify with what’s above, then, your over thinking might be overtaking your positive thoughts.

over-thinking

To chase away the negativity, here are some tips that really worked for me:

  1. You’re not going insane. Don’t assume you’re alone in this and that everybody else is sleeping like a baby without second thinking everything around them. Some people may look calm on the outside, but their minds are going mad as well. This is all part of the human nature; it’s just that you have to find the balance between thinking and reacting.
  2. Ask yourself the right type of questions. Over thinking something to the point of sadness is a waste of positive energy.  If you’re going to over think, do it positively at least. Look at the bright side. Think of the solution and be productive and practical instead of focusing on the main problem.
  3. Be more proactive; do stuff!  Turn over thinking into a next action. Get out of the theory and into the practical. Now! Do at least one thing each day every day that will get you closer to where you want to be. Even if it scares you. Especially if it scares you.

There is no “one best way” to deal with your over thinking, but this worked for me. I look forward to read other tips that worked for you.

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To my ‘nonexistent’ big sister

Hi, I’m your young sister, not the youngest though, we have a younger brother and sister, but I’m the only one who knows you. In my head, there are 4 of us, but for everybody else, there are only 3 of us.

You see, they have no idea you exist, they don’t even need your existence if I may say, because they got me, their older sister.

As for me, I really need you to exist, no matter how, in my dreams, in my writings, in my head, I just really need you imaginary big sister.

I don’t know your name, I didn’t think of giving you any name yet, for now you’re just big sister.

So big sister, I imagine you as a dreamer, someone who loves to travel, discover new things. What a shame, you could’ve been the one who gives me a push towards my own dreams; I know you would’ve helped me.

I imagine you giving me lot of advice, encouraging me a lot. let me tell you, people here aren’t that encouraging, they fear a lot, and they’re living an ordinary life, most of them. And I know for sure, that if you were real, you’d be too awesome to be living a dull life.

I know also that your life could’ve been splendid, far from being run of the mill; you would’ve been my idol, the one whose footsteps I would follow.

Sometimes we would fight, but that’s okay, because we always forget what we’re fighting about and laugh at the smallest things.

You would’ve been the one to tell me how to deal with stuff bothering me, and how to act smart in some situations.

You would’ve been the perfect sister to teach me how to be myself, how to pursue my dreams, how to stick with the things that make me happy, you would’ve cared about me, because you, from all the others, you care, and know what to do.

I’m not killing your character just yet, I’ll keep you alive for little while.

See you big sister.

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Finding Happiness Vs Finding yourself

Are you a happy person?

Or you’re still in search for happiness?

Happiness, may be a feeling, but I’d like to think of it as a state of mind.

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I have always tried to be positive in my thoughts, in my action, in my perception of things, and always believed that things, whether good or bad, happened for a reason.

More

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Keep it up POSITIVE

Have you ever felt like this? Yes?
Well buddy, push that feeling away 🙂 and don’t surrender to that urge.

Always keep it up Positive.

Keep it up POSITIVE

 

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